Angela VanWell

Author | Reader | Traveler | Tea and Coffee Drinker

Writing

My Writing Journey: Pillar 7 Revising Opening & Closing Chapters

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In the NaNoWriMo world, I am 33,000 words into by November 2020 manuscript. That means I am almost 75% of the way towards my writing goal. For me, this is exciting. It means I am working my way to the climatic ending of the story. The most exciting part, which I personally find the easiest to write. This aligns well with the last Pillar because Pillar 7 involves revising and exploring the first line and last line of the opening and closing chapters, respectively. I generally do not review until a few weeks after I finish a manuscript, but for this book I am willing to try.

The book, Plot Development Step by Step, by Jesper Schmidt and Autumn M. Birt, is meant to be used before the manuscript writing process. However, I was in the middle of switching homes, setting up homeschooling, and purchasing basics for survival, so I did not complete it by the November 1st deadline. I will count it as a positive this time, as it energizes me to write the ending. I will have a few options already written to work with. But as I want to you read my story, I will share the exercise using only my opening. I hope that this will then energize me to begin the editing process once NaNoWriMo has concluded.

The story will begin with the protagonist’s normal world. In Ally’s case, on or near her friend, Riley’s cargo boat. Both Ally and Riley grew up along and on the Rhine River so I think this is the best place for the story to begin. As Riley is her only close friend and they are always staying with each other, Ally and Riley together makes the most sense. It also shows how busy her parents to leave Ally, on her eighteenth birthday, with their family friends with the intention of celebrating together at dinner time.

There are several ways to introduce the protagonist and engage the reader. The author can show the buried conviction; for Ally, it is her want for independence and to leave her family business. But she feels she would break their hearts doing so. This can make the character, Ally in this case, appear whiny, so the book suggests balancing the want by creating sympathy for the character. For Ally this can be done by showing her caring side. She loves her family and appreciates everything they do for her so she is making, what she thinks is, the honorable choice.

Schmidt and Birt also point out it is important to make sure the opening is not too action-heavy. The reader needs time to engage with the protagonist and the setting. Do not follow the movie pattern where there needs to be a lot of action to keep the reader in their seat.

The last point is to provide character details. This is aligned with what I have heard from other authors and professors: for a character driven story, the reader must connect with the protagonist. The reader engages best with a character they get to know. They will care about what the character is going through. I have also noticed in my reading, if the author holds back the description for too long, I create one myself, and am disappointed if their description does not match my own.

That does not mean to describe the protagonist, including their backstory and physical appearance, in too much detail. Rather provide enough to draw a sketch with intriguing details. They suggest starting with hair and eye colour, gender, something unique physical description. Not too much more than that. Let the reader fill in the blanks from there. Use the description as part of an action, such as brushing back her burnt red hair or he has to lean over to enter the doorway without hitting his head, etc.

The opening line is the first chance to snare the reader’s attention and to draw them into the story. The opening line must show the character, show the story’s soul, invoke curiosity, and use dialogue, it is the protagonist who is speaking. Creating an opening line that can show the protagonist, who or what they care about, and add a little mystery should hook the reader.

As Neil Gaiman is my inspiring author of the week, I will show his first lines as examples:

There was once a young man who wished to gain his Heart’s Desire.

Stardust, Neil Gaiman

The night before he went to London, Richard Mathew wasn’t enjoying himself.

Neverwhere, Neil Gaiman

Nicholas was older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die

Smoke &. Mirrors, Neil Gaiman

I cheated a little it with the third quote. Sometimes I think it takes two line to set the tone of the book as well as to provide some mystery.

My current opening line is:

The ringing persisted. Ally was confident it was from one of the piles befouling her room.

Wicked Currents,, Angela VanWell

As you can see I had two lines as well. I think it introduces the character well, and how she feels about messes as well as opening the question: Why is her room in that shape if she can’t stand it?

This is my first draft of my opening line, so I don’t know if it will still be that once the revising and editing process has begun. But I like it for now. If I wanted to add Dialogue, the first line could be turned into dialogue, action could be added by Ally searching the piles. There is a lot that can be done with it. But since I do not start editing until I am finished writing, it will stay as-is for now.

The closing chapter of the book needs to echo the beginning. Whatever question the beginning chapter of the book raises, must be responded to. The final sentence is best when lyrical. Several long woven sentences, followed by a short, punchy finale. Sharing final thoughts or dialogue from the protagonist provides closure and the chance to say goodbye to the protagonist. There can also be a hint of the future, implying life goes on.

She says nothing at all, but simply stares upward into the dark sky. And watches, with sad eyes, the slow dance o the infinite stars.

Stardust, Neil Gaiman

And they walked away together through the hole in the wall, back into the darkness, leaving nothing behind. Them; not even the doorway.

Neverwhere, Neil Gaiman

Pillar 7 is the last Pillar in the book, but there is a bonus chapter! The bonus chapter is focused on writing killer Prologues and Epilogues. I won’t be using this bonus chapter, but I will write about it to share the full book.

Happy Writing!

My Writing Journey: Pillar 6 Deepening the Plot

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Pillar 6 is all about revising the outline. Just like with a first draft of a book, Jesper Schmidt and Autumn M. Birt, authors of Plot Development Step by Step, believe the outline requires revision. Looking at the outline as a whole provides the opportunity to look at pacing, balance of Point of View (POV), as well as ensuring both the internal and external plot lines are clear.

The Revision Chapter, or Pillar 6, is a set of questions to ask yourself while working through the outline. They suggest you go through the manuscript outline chapter by chapter. I do not write or outline in chapters, I write in scenes. So the first thing I need to do is to combine my scenes into chapters and cut a part of the last scene so it can end in a cliffhanger and start the next chapter. It was not too difficult for me to do so because this novella is written from one character’s point of view.

A few of the questions to consider when going through your outline are:

  • Will both the “E” (external) and “I” (internal) plotlines be clear to the reader?
  • Are the subplots paced well and merged with the overall plot? Refer to Pillar 3 for the subplot development.
  • Do all of the POV (Point of View) characters have complete character arcs incorporated in the outline? Refer to Pillar 1 for the Character Arc. Check for a clear positive, negative, or neutral character arc.
  • Has your protagonist(s) struggled enough?
  • Is there a balance of humour and darkness in the story?
  • Are the relationships given the attention needed for the story?

My outline was almost 9,000 words in length by the time I had completed it. I have written to the midpoint at this time, (November 14th, NaNoWriMo is almost half over!) It was a nice buffer to have the outline made and input in my document. I was able to shape many of the statements into scenes, dialogue, settings, so many of the original words are still in place. When writing my outline I am telling the story to myself. So changing it into a manuscript is partially changing the telling into showing. Adding description, reactions, thoughts, dialogue, and action to each of the scenes.

The final Pillar of the book is Pillar 7, revising opening and closing chapters. I have written my opening chapter so I think the exercise will make it a stronger opening, it will be interesting to see how it impacts the closing chapter. I should be 3/4 of the way through writing the book, so I should be writing Act 3 at that time. I look forward to both!

Just get it down on paper, and then we’ll see what to do with it.

Maxwell Perkins

Happy Writing!

My Writing Journey Pillar V: Plot Validation

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My outline is written, the plot points highlighted, my characters are ready to jump in. To be honest, they already have! NaNoWriMo started November 1st. Of the 50,000 words I am challenged to write this month, I am already 12,846 in. The reason I know the number, down to the word, is that the NaNoWriMo site keeps tract to support writers on their journey. If you want to join us, it is never to late! Sign up and join in.

There are many pansters, people who write as ideas come to them, also know as gardeners who take part in NaNoWriMo, I tried but failed. I found the beginning each writing session without an idea of where story was going was too daunting for me. Somedays I spent my writing time writing myself into corners and then having to write myself out of them again. It was stressful and the book was shelved as a learning experience.

Since then, I took classes to explore writing, editing, and the publishing industry. They were also great learning experiences, but I was no closer to writing the first draft of a full length novel. Then I found outlining. A nice way for me to explore my characters and put them into challenging situations. For me this looked like a good fit. It is the reason I picked up Plot Development Step by Step, the workbook the Pillars used for the novella I am writing this NaNoWriMo are outlined from.

Pillar V, The Tension Graph, is a validation method for the tension building of the plot. The first step was determine my novella’s story arc. The three main arcs mentioned in the book are the Traditional Arc, The Cliffhanger Arc, and The “Soft” Cliffhanger Arc.

The three charts below are from the Plot Development book and can be found on their podcast:

The tension increases until the story climax. Stand alone stories, such as romances, have this arc.

The tension increases until the story ends with a dramatic twist or the character is left in a precarious situation. Serial stories often have this arc.

The tension increases and the main plot ends. There is second inciting incident at the end of the story. Book series often follow this arc.

As my novella is a prequel to a trilogy, my intention is for story to end with a soft cliffhanger arc. For Ally and Riley to have a complete adventure with ends in an inkling of how the next book will start. As the trilogy is already in draft form, it is the best way for me to end the story.

So I need to determine the tension level of each scene. As every scene should move in a positive or negative direction, there should be movement progressing in one of the two directions. I then look at the cumulation of the tension build and where it increases and lay it on the appropriate story arc. Does it align well? Are there places where there is a prolonged time before tension builds? This is the time to go back and change around the outline so the tension continues to rise, and the story is well paced.

For my outline, the ending, or the denouement, is still incomplete. I need to reflect on how I will built the second inciting incident. Do I want it to lead into Veiled Shadows, Book 1 of the River Run Series? Or do I want to add another prequel novella or short story before the series begins. It is something I will have to reflect on while I am writing this month!

I suggest you go out and read your favourite book(s) and see how they end. Then you too will know your preferences. And who does not love reliving their favourites stories? Happy reading!

My Writing Journey Pillar IV: Creating Awesome Chapters

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For centuries storytelling has been used to share news, explain events, entertain, inspire, and lecture. The earliest known example of written literature, as of the date this was written, is from Mesopotamia. The Mesopotamians first developed cuneiform markings on clay tablets around 3400 B.C.E. At first the texts focused on administration, but by the third millennium B.C.E., there were also poetry and myths.

Poetry has a rhythm to it. A means to make it easier to memorize and pleasant sounding. Myths, and other story types also have a rhythm to them. There is a conflict or problem, the hero must determine how to solve the problem, and then they either do or they don’t. This can be broken down further into chapters. Each chapter is in itself its own little story. It will have a beginning, a middle, and an end.

In Pillar IV of Plot Development Step by Step by Jesper Schmidt and Autumn M. Birt, the Chapter is broken down into a series of questions:

  • What is the character trying to achieve?
  • What is the obstacle or conflict between the character and their goal?
  • What inner emotions are attached to this obstacle? If they overcome the obstacle, how will that effect them internally? If they fail, how will the respond?
  • What is the climax of the scene? The point of greatest tension before the character wins or loses.

Ending the chapter before the climax is resolved, leaves a great cliffhanger. For readers like myself, it means I turn the page and read on to find out how the character is doing. Which is the point of the cliffhanger. Who can go to sleep without knowing if their character lives, saves the prince, or makes it out in time before the confetti bomb is released.

They end the outline process with a list to validate the outline. Ensuring all subplots are folded properly into the main plot. And the most important point to remember: “the story always trumps the template.”

For my novella, my chapter outlines are synopsis. I think better in sentences than in bulletin points. Remember, this is my outline, not the written or finished product. So it is sparse in detail and missing formatting. It is my thoughts all pushed together and shared here. I am sharing the scene where the Inciting Incident occurs. Where Ally and Riley lose the envelope they have taken responsibility. An envelope that contains a signed contract that would save Riley’s family river cargo business.

Remember: this is a first draft, unedited. Therefore, expect it to be full of mistakes:)

“Riley. Riley!” Ally shouted over the boisterous crowd who surrounded her. It was then she realized the band were louder than the crowd. One of the brothers was glaring at the other one and pushed him out of the stage area. They both dropped their instruments and a fight broke out.

Ally, whose table was close to the stage, was pushed away from the table, her chair slammed back into the person seated behind her. Ally turned to apologize as other band members, and Riley, try to break up the fight. One of the brothers snarled, then punched his brother in the face. The injured brother stumbling and smashed into Ally’s table. The table broke under his weight, all of Ally’s papers, her drink, the table and the guy, collapsed to the floor. The patron she had been pushed into, pulled her chair back away from the fight. Ally lost sight of her papers and her bag as more members of the band jumped into the fight. 

She could see Riley on the stage, his arms wrapped around one of the other band members who was throwing his drum sticks at the members of the fight. She was thankful to see he hadn’t been pushed into the fight. Once he had the guy under control he searched the room and looked relieved when he found Ally. She waved at him from across the fight to let him know she was okay. 

Their must have been police already at the pub, because within minutes they were pushing their way through the crowd and breaking up the fight. The rest of the pub noise fell to a hush as the police broke up the fight. The band members swore at each other as they were subdued. Ally watched, wanting to pull Riley out and make sure he is okay. There was more than her table broken. Several chairs, glasses, and plates littered the floor from the nearby table and along the bar. The patrons who had been sitting in those places looked angry but she didn’t see anyone injured. The bartending was pouring fresh drinks and handing them out to those who had lost theirs. They must have been regulars, because the bartender didn’t need to ask what they were drinking. 

“Thank you.” Ally said the the gentleman who had pulled her back. He nodded at her and took a drink from his stein. She turned to see what had his attention.

The bartender was shaking his figure at the band and swearing in German. She understood the band were told if they don’t leave now, the bar would press charges. Ally’s stomach tightened. Riley hadn’t done anything wrong and might get in trouble for being with the band. One of the band members stormed out while the rest agreed to clean up and leave. Ally searched the floor for her papers, hoping they were not too badly ripped or stained. She had been intending to show them to her parents to show the school would be paid for. But if they were covered in beer stains and ripped, they would not give off the best impression. She would have to see if the information was online and she could print off a cleaner set. Riley nodded at her and then turned to help the band carry out their equipment as Ally helped straighten up the bar. Collecting broken glass and plates on the floor so no one was injured.  She would have to talk to Riley about this band. She already had a bad feeling about the two guys, but now she knew they were no good. It wasn’t a good idea for Riley to be connected to them. The villages along the Rhine were close, problematic people were shared to keep the locals safe. If Riley’s name was associated with this band, his parents would find out and the police would be monitoring him as well. All bad.

Riley finished carrying out the last drum then joined Ally who had filled a box the bartender had given her, with broken dishes. “Are you okay?” he asked as he carried the box and placed it on the bar. 

“I’m okay.” Ally moved her chair aside and tried to find where her bag had landed. But she couldn’t find it anywhere. She had all of her papers, some in worse shape than others. If she had been drinking water it would have been better but the cola stains were through everything, there was no getting the stains out. At least it wasn’t beer. 

“Riley, do you see my bag?” It was as if the chair and the bag simply disappeared. She couldn’t find either anywhere. 

Frowning, Riley moved aside the broken table and found the chair in pieces below. But no bag. A chill swept up Ally’s back. She didn’t have anything valuable in the bag, but Riley did. “Riley, your parents envelope was in the bag.” Ally said quietly. 

 His naturally brown skin paled. “We have to get it back. It’s a signed contract between my parents and a new client. If they do not have it to him on time, they could lose the deal. And it was a really big one.” He swallowed, “They purchased a new boat for that contract. If we don’t get it back then the job could go back to tender and they could lose it. And they would still be responsible for the payment on their new boat.”

Ally was the one holding it, her stomach plummeted. She was responsible for the loss. “I’m sorry Riley. I don’t know what could have happened to it. I don’t know what we can do.” 

My Writing Journey: Pillar III Subplots

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Subplots are a way to expand character development while supporting the main plot. The main plot of this story is how Ally and Riley are going to recover the document they were trusted with and lost.

If you read the character development sheets, there is a lot of potential subplots for these characters.

Ally is hiding her desire to leave the family business to the extent that she has hid her applications to various secondary institutes and acceptance. She is not sure how she can sell it to them as a benefit for everyone. She does not want to disappoint them. They love her and support her but she is ashamed that she does not want the life they have built for her. How can she tell them she doesn’t want it? What if they find out without her telling them? The worse thing that could happen is hurting them. But it feels like Ally is held with golden handcuffs; a home, a business handed to her, but in a lifestyle that she cannot stand. Yet, they have no other children, no one else to leave the business they built up to. They were only able to have her, a sick child who took all of their love and care to bring to an adult.

Riley loves his family too and although he supports Ally and helps her to reach for her dreams, he does not forget he will be left behind as well. And it hurts. Especially since he knows there is more to their world, there is magic. But he does not want Ally to choose to stay because of him. He wants her to follow her dreams and he is going to start following some of his own. As the youngest son, he does not inherit the family business and is treated as the baby in the family. They love his support but do not trust him with the important parts of running a river cargo business. If only he and Ally could change places. But then he would have to give up his mom’s home cooking and there is no way he would hurt her. So he will find his way. find something for himself for when Ally leaves him and he is alone.

Hunter, at this point, does not have a large part in this story. (But I rarely follow an outline to the T, so who knows what part he will play when its written?) He is only there as a favour to Logan because he knows Logan cares about Ally and Riley. Not much older than the two friends, Hunter begrudges them their easy, safe lives. He owes Logan for saving him, so he will help the two out, though he would rather enjoy a beer at the pub and ignore them.

Ciarron and Darragh have a lot in common with Riley. Music, the need to escape from the family business, and to start making money on their own. They plan to make their family proud. It was at a concert they had met Riley as they dreamed about making their own music. They didn’t usually like humans, other than their music, but Riley was from the Riverboat Community which meant they did not need to hide who they were. Life was looking up for them. They have their own sound, though they get hired more for their cover tunes, and were starting to make a name for themselves. But then, the boss took an interest in their band, and now they are being used as spies. So, instead of taking gigs that will spread their musical sound, they have to take the gigs that will help the family business. If only they could get a big score, maybe then, they would be allowed to go back to playing the music they love and make their mom proud.

Ally, Riley, Hunter, Logan, Ciarron, and Darragh, all with wishes and dreams, all wanting and needing something different in their lives. But who will win and who will lose?

My Writing Journey: Pillar II The Journey

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Pillar 2 in Jesper Schmidt and Autumn M. Birt’s Plot Development Step by Step Book is all about the journey. They outline the section in a series of plot posts integral to fully developed story. I did follow the exercise completely, all 69 pages of it, but I will not be showing that outline here. Instead I will talk about the beginning, and how Ally and Riley ended up in their mess.

Why am I not sharing the Posts? For several reasons. First, even though I outlined it and have a general sense of where the story is going, I find that a strict outline does not work for me.

The first manuscript I completed, in 2017 my first NaNoWriMo I completed a middle grade novel, I did not have an outline. I had an idea of the story I wanted to tell and wrote enthusiastically. It was through the process I would realize, I needed more structure. At the beginning of the day if I started with a blank page, I would end up staring at it for a long time before I had an idea of what I wanted to write. By the end of the month I was jotting down notes the night before so I had something to start with. It was stressful, but a great way to learn what didn’t work for me.

I then started taking creative writing courses. They helped me find a writing style that works for me. What proved just as beneficial is I kept writing. I would brainstorm ideas and searched online for ideas of how to structure my stories. Then every NaNo event, whether the big NaNoWriMo in November, or camp in April or July, I would write. It is thanks to the combination of learning and experience that I have the beginning of a writing style that works for me. I say a beginning, because I am still at the beginning of my journey. If there is a workshop, webinar, a podcast, a book that looks interesting, I investigate it. I love to learn and happily embrace new strategies I can incorporate in my learning. Creating this blog is one of them! As an introverted person, I prefer small groups of people I can get to know and hang out with. I am not as good at large events. The blog provides a way for me to be both.

Back to Ally and Riley’s journey. Ally doesn’t want to live on a boat her entire life, but she doesn’t know how to tell her parents she doesn’t want to take over the family business. To see her backstory, here is a link to her introductory blog post. She has applied to colleges and universities where she had a chance at a swimming scholarship. And finally, she was accepted.

Riley, her best friends see his intro here, the only person she trusts where her secrets, is taking her out on the town to celebrate. They have one little errand to run for his parents and then they are free. Unfortunately, not everything goes as they plan and they end up chasing down the missing envelope before Riley’s parents lose out on a contract that will put their company in jeopardy, and they need to get back to the boat before it takes off and her parents meet it to find her missing and her acceptance letter on her bed.

Ally needs to create her own future, but hurting her family would break her heart.

Riley loves being apart of his families’ business, and wants they to see him as a responsible adult, not the baby of the family.

Riley’s family has been working on the river as long as Ally’s has. Such history also means they know the secrets of the river. Something Riley’s family shared with him, but Ally’s hasn’t. Some of those secrets are at risk as they two friends chase down the missing contract. Riley wants to share what he knows, but how can he tell his friend the secrets of the valley when all she wants is to escape? He was trusted with the knowledge of magic in the valley, a part of the community that may be responsible for the missing document. If they don’t find it, then there is more than his families’ boating company at stake.

As this book is a prequel to the River Run Series, it will be a full story in itself but will leave open plot points for entry into the trilogy. It, and the free short story, Lynx in Exile, which you can get by signing up below, provide background to the River Run Series that will be published in 2021.